I want to write about my voice. My grief voice. What I discovered and what it means.
I received and email last night from The Hot Young Widows Club. Nora and Moe wrote to share they are retiring from #hywc. HYWC is not going to end. The name will change. You can read about it here. Sad was my first thought. Reflection was my second. I thought I would share what I discovered joining Nora, Moe, the HYWC, and all the wids there.
My first post on HYWC was April 30, 2019 at 11am. I was not a noobie with my grief or my grief story. Donna died in 2011. I wrote a memoir "Donna, A Photo Memoir of Love and Loss" I self published. I posted on this blog and my first web site, podcast, and shared my grief story for years. I did all of that as my process to understand my loss. To learn about my grief. To find the light entering my grief wound. It worked.
It was joining HYWC that profound changes/discoveries began.
I discovered I was not alone in my grief. Writing and reading about loss, Donna, and grief I learned we all grieve and grieve differently. We are all in pain. We all want to share our story. Be heard. Being among these HYWC wids I discovered the brilliance of our shared grief. The Venn of our grief was apparent.
I discovered support, hope, pain, and hurt. How we all learn, grow, and support others grieving.
I discovered that sharing my grief journey/work in this powerful engaged and self-loving community was embraced and understood. As only those in pain can understand. My voice rose.
I discovered that my thoughts, feelings, emotions, and story can help others. My validations and support of others can made a small difference.
I discovered HYWC wids are fierce unwilling to put up with bullshit from anyone about closure, moving on, family failings, loss, and being forgotten after the last casserole dish is returned.
I discovered new friends. Wids who got me I got them. They had my back. I had their’s. How we share boldly, bravely, and brilliantly with each other in our most deeply heartbreaking moments and emotions. Without judgement just love.
I discovered I had a voice. Or better said my voice unfolded within this community. My voice matured, focused, and was mine. Uniquely mine.
I discovered that Nora and Moe created this tip of the arrow for our collective grief voices that has grown so much. Created so much content, knowledge, support, and love. Those in grief are no longer in the shadows. Read "My Love Song for Nora & Moe".
In the end which there is no end to our grief journey or work. Nor an end to our collective grief communities. In the end the greatest gift you can give someone is self discovery. Thank you Nora, Moe, Jessica, Lacy, and Brittany. The team.
The gift of my grief voice is being paid forward. Bless you all.
I am active on the IG grief community. Equally this community is fierce, passionate, motivated to help others, and so open and insightful about loss and grief. More and greater discovery here everyday.
A recent article "How Instagram is changing the grieving process" is simply the ever growing power and hope and support and love we in grief have to give and gain from each other.
We are family. A one of a kind family all too many will join. We got you.