I started a YouTube Channel.
Let me stop there for a moment and consider that lede. So much to unpack, repack, and question. At first it's like huh what? Really? Me?
I was never a YouTube watcher. It may be due to an undiagnosed case of ADD. Sitting and watching videos makes my head cycle thinking "Did I leave a dirty fork in the sink?" "I need to sort my graphic t's into colors and messages." It's true. There is an endless suffocating loop in my head of next, next, next, sit the fuck still.
Since Donna's death in 2011 and my deep dive into loss, love, grief, and xyz stuff I gravitated toward TL:DR posts. Kinda of blah blah on paper but more like a private journal so helpful in leaning and understanding. As I reread these posts from years ago I'm pleasantly surprised at how much wow there is in each one. Ideas, thoughts, words, messages, just chock full of links, and stuff. Don't wait for me to give myself a pat on the back. Self-loathing is my jam so nah.
I did write the memoir "Donna, A Photo Essay of Love and Loss". It was a real exercise in discovery of both the hidden Donna and struggling me following her death. The memoir is fine. I like it a lot. It was self-published. The low hanging fruit of saying you're a writer. What can I say, it's the journey not the result. AKA the book didn't go anywhere. Those who read it liked it. So good. Journey right?
This year I decided to relaunch the memoir. One more time with feeling and a plan. Got a book marketer to create a plan. (That’s a whole other post.) Plan was fine lots of stuff in it. Stuff meaning links etc. Copy and paste stuff. It was fine. Not like a marketing plan I'd have written for the launch of a new pharmaceutical.
Shared the book plan with my SEO genius buddy. SEOShaun. Who agreed there is a lot there in fact too much he drilled down and voila... YouTube Channel about me my story is the hub. All social media drives to that hub. Oh my YouTube.
And so it started. Can I just say started as in fits and starts. Hate seeing me on video. Each new video is me dialing up my production value aspect. The only way to do that is with a great video editor which I found. I have content from all my posts here and the memoir. I need to overcome outcomes and think, it's the journey. I'll readily admit I am learning so much more. Doing new stuff. Keeps the boredom at bay since boredom is my doom in a very real sense.
I guess I'm a YouTube Creator. A creator questioning why am I doing this? What will it produce? And so it goes...soon.
In the end I look at Rene Ritchie (I accosted that poor soul while he was eating a meal in NYC). iJustine who is all smiles and bubbles of joy. I see what they are doing and I panic thinking of my YouTube. Then I read and reread the photo above "Comparison is the thief of joy" and think, posthumously I will get 10 more subscribers. (deprecating humor y'all)
It's all about the journey.